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Kate Hollingsworth
Brand photography 101

Being yourself: letting go of fitting in!

March 22, 2022

My son is leaving junior school and we’re ordering school leaver hoodies.

He’s opted for a very light pink jumper.

I found myself saying: “Are you sure? What about the light blue… or maybe claret, for Aston Villa?” 

“Oh do you think I should, Mum?” he replied.

STOP! 

Here’s the thing. 

I tell you all to be ‘more authentic’. Be yourself. In fact, be so much of yourself that you only find your true crowd…

And here I was suggesting to my son that he tones it down, that he people pleases, doesn’t stand out and tries to blend in. 

What on earth was I doing? 

Luckily,  I swiftly pulled myself up short and recovered the position:  “No, I love the pink. Go for it!” 

As a recovering people pleaser, I can see that deep down, I wanted my own child not to ‘rock the boat’. What that really translates to is that I wanted my own life as a parent to be easier. I don’t want to have to deal with tears if he gets teased for picking a ‘girly’ colour. 

This is not an easy thing to write, because it means that I was being selfish and making it all about me, instead of cheering on my own child’s individuality.

At his age, I struggled with being the real me. I wanted to fit in and hide amidst the crowd…whilst having a secret hankering for bright tights and crazy colourful clothes.

I wish I’d found the confidence at the tender age of 11 to shout out: ‘This is me, take it or leave it!’

OK, so occasionally there will be bumps for him along the way. People may tease, might disagree, even say he’s slightly crazy… but I have learnt that this is part of life’s rich pattern and it’s up to my son to experience it all for himself and plough his own furrow! 

It’s taken me years to get to the point where I don’t mind what people think (mostly.. I am a work in progress nevertheless!)

So my takeaway is this: 

I’d far rather we all learnt that being imperfect but the real, authentic us is a far better path to tread. Making your own decisions based on your own wants is better than being perfectly nice but unfulfilled (or a little dull).

I love to help bring out this authenticity – imperfections included – in my clients. It’s a celebration not just of them as business owners but also of them as the dynamic, unique, and beautiful people they are.

So for my son, for me and all of you:

‘Be yourself; everyone else is taken’  Oscar Wilde

Have a great week everyone and tell me how you feel about fitting in?

Written with the help of the amazing Susan Penelope Gibbins copywriter in her copywriting club. https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-penelope-gibbins-content-strategist/